Air plane
Three men were taking a trip on a plane. When they get on the pilot tells the passengers not to throw anything out of the windows. The plane lifts off and they're on their way. On the plane the first man finds a pencil and wondering what to do with it he is told by one of the other men to throw it out the window, so he does. Then the second guy finished his apple and wondering how to get rid of the core he asks the other two men, they tell him to throw it out the window, so he does. Next the third man finds a grenade! Panicking he throws it out the window.
After the plane had landed the three men were walking down the street when they came across a guy holding his eye. The three men asked him what happened, he said he had looked up in the sky and a pencil fell and hit him in the eye. So the three men continued down the street and they come across a man holding his head, the three ask him what's wrong? The man says that he was walking down the street and an apple core fell on his head! Feeling a little strange the men continue down the street when they come across a man holding his stomach lauging his head off! The three ask him what's so funny? The man replies, I farted and that building exploded!

Blonde Dyes Her Hair Brown

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blondejokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few dayslater, as she was driving around the countryside, she stoppedher car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woollycreatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how manysheep you have, can I take one?"The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reasonsaid, "352."This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably,totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep tomy end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finallypicked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any ofthe others.When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K.,now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true haircolor, can I have my dog back?"

Blind man

There is a naked woman in the shower, she hears a knock at the door
"Who is it?"
"Blind man" is the reply
"OK, come on in then"
"Nice boobs, where do you want your blinds"

Turkish PressKidnapped Pakistan envoy released by Taliban
Reuters -
ISLAMABAD (Reuters) - Suspected Taliban militants have released Pakistan's envoy to Afghanistan more than three months after he was kidnapped in Pakistan's Khyber tribal region, a senior government official told Reuters on Saturday.

Vancouver SunLos Angeles County gearing up for same-sex marriage licenses
Los Angeles Times -
Bruce Carr,50, left and his partner Ron Longo,48, hold hands in reaction to the California Supreme Court's ruling to lift the ban on same sex marriages

Obama clashes with Bush in Nazi appeasement
Times Online -
Barack Obama today accused President Bush of launching a “false political attack” after he appeared to compare the Democratic presidential hopeful’s foreign policy to appeasement of the Nazis.

After celebrating court's ruling same-sex couples look ahead
San Jose Mercury News-
By Denis C. Theriault, Mary Anne Ostrom and Mike Swift When news broke today that the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, the more than 100 people gathered on the steps outside the San Francisco courthouse let out whoops of joy, ...

Chronicles Of Georgie
here have been big changes in Narnia. And in the life of actress Georgie Henley. When last we visited the faraway realm, Narnia was in its Golden Age; the four kings and queens had rid the magical land of the evil White Witch.

Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown draws post No. 7 for Preakness
He is made the 1-2 favorite for the second leg of the Triple Crown on Saturday. By Larry Stewart, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer BALTIMORE -- For the first time in three races, Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown won't be starting from the outside.

Even a limited Kobe Bryant is good enough for Lakers
Playing despite back problems, the All-NBA guard still has 26 points, seven assists and six rebounds in the Lakers' 111-104 win.

Edwards' long-sought endorsement goes to Obama
BY GLENN THRUSH glenn.thrush@newsday.com WASHINGTON - Former presidential hopeful John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama yesterday, giving him a boost with blue-collar voters - and delivering what Obama hopes will be a coup de grace to Hillary Rodham ...

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Experts move closer to identifying best embryos
HONG KONG, May 14 (Reuters) - Scientists in Australia and Greece appear to be moving closer to identifying genes that determine which test-tube embryos stand the best chance of implanting in the womb and growing into healthy babies.

Astros' Berkman on a tear
By Jorge L. Ortiz, USA TODAY Lance Berkman hit .333 with two home runs and eight RBI in the six games from April 28 to May 4. If it weren't for that "cold spell," he might have been named NL player of the week three times in a row.

Hewlett-Packard Holders Say Hurd May Struggle to Cut EDS Costs
By Connie Guglielmo May 14 (Bloomberg) -- Hewlett-Packard Co.investors say Chief Executive Officer Mark Hurd may struggle to squeeze enough savings out of Electronic Data Systems Corp.

Clinton sounds note of defianceBBC News -
By Jamie Coomarasamy The contrast couldn't have been greater. A week ago, in Indianapolis, I had watched Hillary Clinton's victory party run its full course, well before the New York Senator's narrow win in that night's Indiana primary had been ...

Hillary Clinton wins W. Va. ... but will anyone care?
Los Angeles Times - 43 minutes ago
As expected, Hillary Clinton was instantly declared the winner of the West Virginia Democratic presidential primary by every media outlet in the business of making such calls.

Annika Sorenstam Announces Retirement
New York Times - 1 hour ago
By FRANK LITSKY On Tuesday, she announced that she would retire at the end of the year. Well, not retiring from the golf scene, but giving up the tournament grind.

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